How Ange and Hilda Stole Christmas
by AirbornAnomaly
Summary: All the humans on the planet liked Christmas a lot, but the Norma girls Ange and Hilda, who lived isolated from society on Arzenal, did NOT!


_This takes place between episodes ten and eleven of Cross Ange._

_For Dr. Seuss._

_I'm sorry._

* * *

_Slap._

The open datapad hit the desk and slid across the table, coming to rest right within the range of Hilda's disinterested eyes. Many of the girls in the cafeteria turned to the unexpected noise but immediately looked away when noticing it was the business of Arzenal's most notorious delinquents.

"The hell is this?" Hilda asked, sapphire orbs narrowing in irritation.

"A datapad," Ange answered. She put her hands on her hips and stuck her nose up. "Surely you aren't stupid enough to have no idea what one of these is."

"That isn't what I meant, bitch," Hilda countered, hissing the last syllable. "Why are you throwing a datapad at me?"

"I found it on the human's desk, it has some interesting information," Ange explained. She pulled out a chair and took a seat across from her ally.

Hilda smiled and reached for the device. 'The human' was the affectionate nickname they had given to their mana-using warden Emma almost immediately after their pact to destroy the world that abandoned and ridiculed them. Not a day went by without one of the girls committing some sort of petty act against her in an attempt to vent some of their rage. Today's was apparently theft.

"'Shipment cleared and ready to go,'" Hilda read aloud. "'Automated vessel flying over your post tonight, prepare to spot it on your radar at approximately 23:00.'" Her smile curled further upwards. "Sounds like the humans are sending some supplies over their garbage heap. Aren't they afraid of contamination?"

"Wasps can't sting what they can't see," Ange replied, her own mouth allowing a small smirk. "But imagine if they caught a smell of that obnoxious being hovering annoyingly close to their home."

"Ripe flesh," Hilda snarled, licking her plump lips. "Just waiting to be punished for invading their space."

"Imagine what kinds of vain playthings the humans would be shipping," Ange drawled. She crossed her arms behind her head and stretched her lean back until it cracked. "Feasts for the violent, hating citizens?"

"Maybe it's a thousand dresses for the stupid women to slut it up in?" Hilda suggested.

Ange tapped her fingers across the surface of the table. "A load of vehicles to busk those 'hard working' businessmen from their homes to their jobs, keeping that perfect economy pumping like a smooth machine?"

Hilda smacked a fist on the table. "It makes me sick to think they're out there and we're stuck in here! I hate their stupid laws, I hate their stupid cities, and I hate their stupid shipments. I hate humans!"

"So do I," Ange agreed. She turned her attentions away from her twintailed partner and looked aloof in contemplation for but a moment before the golden haired Norma smiled. "I know what we should do, Hilda."

A red eyebrow shot upwards. "Does the bitch have an idea?"

"An awful idea," the blonde purred.

"The bitch has a _wonderful_, awful idea," Hilda corrected with a sneer.

"Master Angelise!" shouted a voice from nearby. A voice that was pleasant and clear as the sky.

The conspiring girls jumped in their seats and folded their arms quickly as if they'd been caught in the cookie jar. "Momoka," Ange greeted with the slightest hint of warmth in her tone.

"Master Angelise," Momoka repeated. "How are you? I don't get to see you as much as I need to!" The maid inspected Ange's features to see how she's been treated and with a satisfied huff and a twist she was seated.

"You don't need to see me, Momoka," Ange insisted. "You're going to have to get used to it. I won't be able to earn enough money to buy you back while I'm on probation."

Hilda leaned forward on her bench, crossing her arms and smiling satisfactorily. "Oh no, poor little Ange is stuck without her slave. Whatever will she do? Will I have to wipe your ass now? Will I be forced to keep you warm at night?"

The Burn Princess jumped forward aggressively and grabbed Hilda by the scruff of her uniform, lithe fingers wrapping around tight fabric, pressing into the taller girl's windpipe menacingly. "Leave Momoka alone."

"Master Angelise!" Momoka yelled in a fright. "Please let her go, you don't need to fight!"

"Why would I leave her be?" Hilda sneered, the glint in her eye challenging the fit girl to strangle her. "She's just another human. You know, the filth we vowed to destroy."

Ange pulled Hilda, and with a grunt the girl was forced into a standing position. Ange leaned right up into her partner's face, tilting her head up slightly to catch those blue eyes with her own broken caramel. "Momoka is different from them. And she's a part of my plan."

"Oh?" Hilda leered, trying not to let the stress on her throat show in her voice. She leaned forward herself until her lips were just close enough to lightly graze the girl's in front of her, never breaking eye contact, staring her ally down like a dog needing to be put in her place. "Tell me more."

Ange pushed Hilda back and let her go, shying away and conceding defeat. She turned to her maid. "Momoka?"

"Yes, Master Angelise?" the maid obediently replied, the relief clearly shown in a smile so wide.

"Do you still have that cash I told you to hide?"

"Hidden cash?" Hilda interrupted sassily. "Isn't that against the rules?"

Ange ignored her. "Do you?"

"Y-yes, of course Master Angelise!" Then Momoka reached into her bountiful cleavage and pulled out a wad of neatly folded greenage.

"Holy shit," Hilda exclaimed. "Got anything else in there?"

Seemingly ignoring the Norma completely, Momoka foisted the cash non-discreetly.

"I always had her store some separate from the rest in case you girls found some way to tamper with my earnings," Ange revealed. "We should have enough with this for what we need. Let's go get it."

Without needing another word the girls got up from their table and began sauntering out of the cafeteria. Ange carrying a smug confidence in her stride, Hilda a teasing sway in her hips. The girls of Arzenal watched them leave, a cavalcade of emotions painting the faces of all women young and old. Fear, admiration, disgust, contempt; these were the kind of people who gave Norma a bad name.

"Master Angelise, wait!" Momoka cried, running after her charge with a misplaced sense of pride.

* * *

"So what are you girls going to do with a rocket launcher?" Jasmine wondered.

"Kill D.R.A.G.O.N.S," Ange answered quickly, surely.

The old shopkeeper looked to her dog. "What do you think?" The happy go lucky pup responded with a panting tongue. Jasmine shrugged her old shoulders. "Sure. That'll be 4100."

Ange fingered through her money wad, counting it quickly. She cursed and turned to Hilda. "How much do you have on you?"

"One fifty," Hilda answered, pulling the slim bills out of her skirt pocket.

"I need one hundred," Ange commanded, reaching over and taking the money before Hilda could offer it to her. She pushed the stack towards Jasmine.

"Master Anglise, no!" Momoka countered, throwing her body in front of her liege before the system could mount her. There wasn't much money to go round in this prison, and the maid had a just cause within her heart risen. "I need some of that money, don't you know what tomorrow is?"

"No, I don't," Ange deadpanned. "And did you just say I shouldn't spend some of _my_ money because _you_ need it?"

"Ker-krsshh!" Hilda hissed, mimicking a whipping motion with her hand. Ange shivered unnoticeably.

"Master Anglise, how could you forget! Tomorrow is Christmas! I need to buy you a gift!"

Ange cringed. Why didn't she remember that? She had only been on Arzenal for a few months but Christmas already felt like something ages past.

"Wow, I forgot all about Christmas," Hilda mumbled, mimicking Ange's thoughts.

The Burn Princess frowned and bit her bottom lip. She grabbed Momoka's shoulder and gently pushed her to the side, reaching her arm forward and handing an amused Jasmine the stack of cash. Ange picked up the hefty rocket launcher and hauled it over her shoulder. "Norma don't have Christmas."

* * *

"Master Angelise…" Momoka sighed in defeat, as the red twintailed Norma laughed loud in conceit. The poor maid didn't know why these girls had to suffer, for wasn't Christmas the time for good cheer and warm supper? Her whole life she served Princess Angelise with a smile, but in this valley of death was that not worth her while?

"No!" Momoka vowed, she would not be swayed. Love and joy at Christmas would not be delayed. She'd convince Angelise her efforts are not wasted, on the cold distraught heart of a species much hated. Christmas was near and dear to her well-meaning heart, and to convince these girls why she would have to be smart.

"I have a good idea, bitch," Hilda announced. She stopped absently kicking her legs over the edge of her bed and looked to Ange who was inspecting the rocket launcher on the bed opposite hers. It had only been a week, but they managed living in the same room surprisingly well considering how much they fought before their pact of destruction.

"I seriously doubt that," Ange derided.

"Let's dress up like Santa Claus," Hilda suggested with a grinchy smile.

Ange put down the weapon in her hands to turn her full attentions to the smug girl across from her. "Are you retarded?"

"Imagine it," Hilda started, standing up and sauntering over to sit next to Ange. She wrapped an arm around her shoulders and smiled at the discontent frown on the blonde's pretty face. She gestured to the ceiling. "Christmas Eve, the violent anti-social monsters known as the Norma destroy a shipment of surely precious materials intended for a Christmas Day delivery to some backwards kingdom. How could it possibly be better than if they were dressed as Santa Claus, the symbol of giving and cheer, as they took away without giving a single measly crumb of a fuck?"

Ange shook her head and tried to pull herself out of Hilda's grasp, the red haired woman only gripped tighter. "That idea is stupid and unnecessary," Ange denied, turning to face her partner's eyes. "Where would we even get Santa costumes?"

"You have a red sheet on your bed," Hilda suggested. She leaned closer to Ange's face, never breaking eye contact. "We could make some up quick, we have time."

"There isn't enough material to cover both of our bodies in my sheet!" the Burn Princess argued. Hilda shrugged slightly and leaned ever closer, the swell of her bust coming into contact with Ange's own. She once again touched her lips as gingerly as possible to her ally's and blew a teasing breath into her open mouth.

"It would cover enough," Hilda seduced. Her tongue began sliding out from her parted lips.

"Fine!" Ange conceded, standing up violently and breaking eye contact. "We'll make some damn Santa costumes."

"Perfect!" Hilda cheered. "Hand me your blanket, I'll have them done in an hour."

* * *

"Coast is clear."

Ange shot out from the corner cover, knife at the ready, and darted for the door at the end of the hallway. She crouched in front of it and checked the hallways to either side of her. She tugged down on the short skirt climbing up her thighs.

"Clear. Hurry, Hilda."

Hilda quickly followed, the hefty rocket launcher strapped to her back slightly slowing her movement. The Santa suit, if it could even be called that, did nothing to Hilda but sew the grin into her striking features. The tight red fabric started at the top of her breasts and finished not even three inches down her long legs. A pointy Santa-hat sans white ball flapped around snugly betwixt her fluffy red twintails. Embarrassingly enough for girl waiting at the door, Ange was wearing an exact duplicate of the outfit.

Momoka shuffled nervously after Hilda, her eyes darting every which way they could and hands drawn up defensively to her chest. She had a pair of 'antlers' Hilda had fashioned out of bedsprings tied to her bonnet looking for all the world like a misshapen car antennae.

"Master Angelise," Momoka whispered. "You shouldn't be sneaking around like this while on probation." She would never deign to say it aloud, but the spirit of their outfits made the caring maid proud.

"Don't worry, Momoka," Ange dismissed. "You can't get in trouble for anything here anyways." She turned the handle carefully and opened the door. The warm night air of the tropical climate shrouding Arzenal caressed the girls immediately, making the sheet-turn-costume itchy and uncomfortable. Ange grimaced and stepped through the door, hiking straight to the place on the side of this hill she had chosen as the perfect vantage point. According to the map Momoka procured from Jasmine, this exit led to a plateau on the cliffs surrounding Arzenal's northern edge, far away from the living quarters and sleeping ears of most of the women who called the prison their home. If the rocket launcher was fired at the perfect moment, the sabotaged transport would sail harmlessly over the island and crash in the sea, alerting nobody to their act of terrorism. Not immediately at least. Christmas would be that much less perfect for the humans and the Norma could go to sleep satisfied for a night.

"Okay, let's get ready," Ange said. She held her hand out. Hilda pulled the rocket launcher off her back and started to pass it over to her partner's outstretched fingers.

"NO!" Momoka yelled in a fright. She jumped between the sad girls, grabbed the weapon and held it tight. "I can't let this be! You can't ruin someone's day on Christmas, don't you see?"

Ange frowned. "Momoka, hand me the rocket."

"Master Angelise…I'm sorry!" The maid ran to the edge of the cliff in a fever, and held the launcher out to the cold sea beneath her.

"Don't you dare, human!" Hilda snarled. She took a step forward but Ange grabbed her arm before she could go any further.

"Momoka," Ange started, her voice even and calm. "I command you to give me my rocket launcher." She held out a hand and waggled her fingers expectantly.

Momoka looked from the water to her lady in wait and considered the actions she could very well take. To drop it down and let the tides below feed or obey her princess and uphold her creed? The decision weighed hard on her poor stressed out mind, her love for Christmas putting her in a real bind. But as with everything left to the trappings of fate, young Momoka conceded to the love held to her so great. Tears in her eyes and shaking in stride, she brought the weapon back to her master and so replied, "Master Angelise, I'm sorry."

Ange frowned at her lifelong confidant's tears, but hardened immediately when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"We don't have much time, five minutes to eleven," Hilda warned. The smirk was physically present in her smooth vocals.

The hand on Ange's shoulder began squeezing gently before she shrugged it off and hoisted the rocket launcher. She checked the sights to make sure they were aligned and got in position, taking a knee and aiming for the sky. "Spot for me, Hilda."

"On it."

"MASTER ANGELISE!" Momoka screamed in frustration. "Don't do this please, don't be a slave to your fixation! Nobody deserves this on Christmas!"

"Calm down," Ange growled, her irritation unable to be hidden anymore. "It's just a transport of goods, it's not like I'm killing kids."

"Master Angelise!" the maid sobbed.

"Go inside, Momoka. Now."

Sniffling and crying her eyes red and painful, Momoka ran through the door feeling disgraceful.

"Jeez, I thought she would never shut up," Hilda sighed. She knelt down next to Ange and kept her eyes and ears open.

"She means well," Ange defended. "Christmas was always her favourite time of the year. She would make hundreds of cookies for everybody in the palace and bring hot chocolate with marshmallows to my room every morning."

"Oh? Is the Burn Princess getting sentimental all of a sudden?" Hilda teased.

Ange frowned. "Shut up."

Hilda smiled and spared a look at her ally's distraught face before scanning the skies again. Still no sign of the ship. Her eyes wandering to the beauty beside her, the silky golden hair, the small pointed nose, the deep chocolate eyes. Hilda allowed herself a rare real smile. "Hey, Ange."

"Yeah?"

"What do you want for Christmas?"

Ange's eyes widened. In all of this she hadn't even though of that. She shimmied in her spot to try and loosen her 'Santa suit' and clicked her tongue. "I don't care. I just want the humans to feel our pain."

"Good wish," Hilda complimented. "Do you know what I want?"

"A better hairstyle?"

Hilda's eyes narrowed. "Bitch. No what I want is something I've been thinking about lately." She reached a hand over and enjoyed the startled shiver when it settled on Ange's lower back. "I want to take you back to our room, lay you on the bed, and be the first person to have their way with you."

"Hilda!" Ange hissed. "Stop being stupid, I need to concentrate. I think I hear the engines of the ship."

"I'm not joking," Hilda purred, shimmying closer and putting her other hand on Ange, resting them gently on supple hips to articulate her point. She buried her nose in the golden hair and stole a long sniff, enjoying the smell of the lavender shampoo they were forced to share on their dwindled salaries.

"H-Hilda!" Ange chided, trying and failing to shrug the other girl off. Hilda's hands began rubbing her hips in a massaging motion. In the distance, the distinct sound of a mana-powered jet engine could be heard.

"Don't act like you don't think about it, Ange," Hilda pressed, her hot breath tickling the inner shell of Ange's ear. "I've heard you at night, when you think I'm asleep. You don't need to touch yourself, I can help you."

Ange flushed. Hilda nuzzling her neck was making it very hard to concentrate. "Not now, Hilda! Let go of me, I have to time this shot perfectly." She raised the rocket launcher and aimed, the ship was just coming into view.

"Ange, let me have you," Hilda urged. "I can make you feel better than you've ever felt. You'll forget all about the humans for a while." As a final persuasive tactic she gently bit into Ange's neck and flicked at the flesh with her tongue. Ange moaned and flinched, her finger hitting the trigger just seconds before she planned to.

"Fuck!" Ange yelled, dropping the spent weapon and pushing Hilda off. The rocket soared with a whistling whine straight for the transport and collided with the front end in a spectacular explosion. The mangled ship wavered in the sky for a second before diving freefall. "Shit, Hilda, we've got to get out of here, that thing is-hmmpf!"

She was interrupted by the red head's lips on her own. She tried to scream into the kiss, to break away, but Hilda was holding her tight and would not break her lip lock. Ange stayed stubbornly motionless, refusing to give in to the tantalizing motions of the other's kiss and leaving her eyes open to track the trajectory of crashing ship, seeming every second to be coming closer and closer to their position.

Hilda was still attempting to get a reciprocated kiss out of her when the ship hit the plateau and skid across the ground in a flurry of upturned nature before smashing into the rock wall and finally stopping. Dirt and grass showered the girls and their makeshift outfits in earthy filth as Hilda tried to shove her tongue into Ange's mouth. The blonde pushed her attacker away and got up off the ground.

"Damn it, now we're going to get in trouble," Ange grumbled as if ignoring what just happened. The pink tint on her cheeks betrayed her.

Hilda shook her head and smiled slightly. "Yeah, seems like it." They starred at their work for a moment before the door to the interior of their prison slammed open, interrupting the silence.

"Master Angelise!" Momoka yelled, running back to her friend. "I heard a loud crash! Do you have any injuries you need me to tend?"

"I'm alright," Ange replied. She walked over to the crashed transport. "Might as well see what we knocked down before Jill has our asses."

She grabbed the hatch on the back of the ship and forced it up with a grunt. She looked inside and gasped. Momoka ran to Ange's side and Hilda strutted over with a raised eyebrow. Both girl's eyes widened in shock at the sight inside of the cargo bay. Toys. Bottom to top toys, filling every nook and cranny of the space in the automated shipping vessel.

"Uh, today's Christmas Eve right?" Hilda nervously wondered.

"Master Angelise," Momoka sighed, falling to her knees and hiding her shamed eyes.

"Shit," Ange hissed. Toys were different. She didn't want to mess with kids, even if they were humans. Kids still had a chance to turn out okay or be converted to her cause. "Shit."

"Well, we fucked up," Hilda conceded. She scratched at the back of her head then turned to Ange. "Want to have sex to try and forget about this?"

"Is that all you think about?" Ange snapped. Hilda shrunk back and gave another uneasy look to the toys they had unknowingly stolen from beneath many children's Christmas trees. Momoka was too busy hiding herself in shame to do so, but Ange joined her partner in reflecting on their actions. A cargo hold filled with toys with no way of getting it off the island and getting back in time for the next morning. For all intents and purposes, they had killed Santa Claus. Ange's eyes shifted from jack in the boxes to teddy bears to dolls to airplanes before she had an idea. An idea she hadn't ever thought of before. Maybe Christmas in Arzenal could be oh so much more?

And what happened then? Well, as Momoka would say, "Master Angelise's heart grew three sizes that day!"

* * *

"So, let me try and understand this," Jill said. "You two wanted to make Christmas worse for the humans so you came up with a plan to shoot down an automated shipping vessel planned to fly over Arzenal last night. You found out about this shipment by stealing information from the warden's office. To make the whole thing more poetic, you made skimpy holiday costumes to wear while you committed an act of terrorism against the humans. Then, you actually felt bad about what you did since it was a shipment of toys and came up with this plan to make it all better in your twisted sense of morality?"

"Yes," Ange and Hilda answered at the same time.

Jill scrutinized them with a glare then took a long drag of her cigarette. "We're going to institute your plan immediately and distribute the presents. The younger girls will really appreciate all of the toys you stole for them. In the future when they're riding a paramail into battle and everything seems hopeless, they'll have a Christmas they can look back on fondly to warm their hearts. Bringing the Christmas spirit here, even if just for this year, is going to have a good effect on moral and will help us in our efforts. That's not to say you two aren't going to be punished for your actions."

"Yes," they answered again. The red head swore she saw a smile flicker on her blonde partner's face before the scowl returned. Hilda wasn't trying to hide how satisfied she felt. Punish her all they want, as far as she cared she won.

"You will be going back to your shared cell. You don't have a dime to your names, so we're going to force you to pay ten percent of all your earnings in the next month back to command," Jill laid out. "I will not allow you to shower or eat before being incarcerated again, you will report directly to the brig after this meeting. Anything else to say?"

Ange was stoically quiet. Hilda smirked. "Merry Christmas, Commander."

Jill smiled. "Merry Christmas. Dismissed."

The girls stood from their chairs and spared each other a satisfied glance before walking side by side towards the door.

"Stop!" Jill commanded as they were about to step into the hallway. The girls turned around, confused. Jill pointed a finger of her mechanical arm up with an amused grin. They followed it to the top of the doorframe, where a pointy green leaf was hung.

Hilda's nose scrunched. "What's that?"

"I think Ange knows," Jill teased, pulling a new cigarette out from the case on her desk.

"Mistletoe," Ange whispered in a haughty tone.

"The hell is a 'mistletoe'?" Hilda asked, her sapphire orbs narrowing in irritation at being left out of the loop.

Ange shrugged and made to leave the room. "Don't worry about it."

"Ange."

The Burn Princess spun around to glare at Jill. The commander simply smiled and pulled a long drag on her cigarette. "You're the one who wanted to get into the holiday spirit. How about you show some?"

"Screw it all!" Ange yelled before grabbing her partner by the back of her long red hair.

"Hey, what are-" Hilda tried to complain before Ange shut her up by sealing their lips. Hilda took the opportunity immediately and kissed back, wrapping her arms around the blonde's slender waist and pulling her close. There was a grunt of protest as she forced her tongue into the other's mouth but Hilda would swear for the rest of her days that Ange's tongue played ball if only for a couple seconds. The kiss broke naturally.

Ange walked off without a word, refusing to look back at Jill's shit-eating grin.

"Where are you going, bitch?" Hilda asked, the lightest of blushes tinting her smiling cheeks.

"Our cell," Ange answered. She craned her neck and raised an eyebrow. "You coming?"

Hilda smirked. "Sure."

* * *

A/N

Merry Christmas, I hope you liked this.

There is a startlingly low number of Cross Ange fics so I wanted to try and fix that. It's also nice to imagine another fun adventure of prison shenanigans before the destruction in episode 11 and seemingly onwards. Hopefully it reminded you of better times.

I didn't comb over this as much as my usual work and I feel like I could have elaborated on some things but I didn't want it to be too long. Tell me what you think.

Thanks!

AirbornAnomaly


End file.
